How to Get Your Teen to Talk to You

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Your kids are forming their own ideas about tough topics, such as what's socially acceptable or where the line is for certain behavior.

7 Tips on How to Talk to Teens

As you discuss pop culture and their social lives, pay close attention to hints that they might be dropping about problems or concerns. Know when to stop pressing for the time being and when to keep pushing for more information. You can't avoid some tasks, like the drive to and from school, the weekly to-do list, or shopping for clothes and school supplies. However, you can make the most of your time even if the activity is a chore.

Here are some examples:. Teenagers are especially resistant to doing things that impede their personal time. Use these must-do activities to your advantage and get to know your kids better. Sometimes, doing mindless tasks, such as cleaning out the fridge or trying on jeans, can clear the mental roadblock that prevents your teens from talking about their lives. If you're having trouble getting your teen to open up, lead by example. Talk about your day, how you handled different situations and what you had hoped to accomplish.

When applicable, discuss your own experiences as a teenager. Kids need to see their parents for the humans that they are, so don't be afraid to talk about difficult subjects. You don't need to give them every dark detail about your young life, but you should be honest when talking about tough subjects, including sex, drug or alcohol use, and bullying. If your kids can trust you to be honest, they can trust you with their own burdens.

How to Listen to Get Your Teen to Talk

Maybe it's been a long day and you need to relax, but if your teen comes to you with a problem or concern, take the time to listen. Put your own stresses aside for the time being, and pay attention to what your kid is saying. When teenagers purposely seek out your attention, it's critical to be there for them.

  1. Call Out The Instigators?
  2. 4 Parenting Secrets that Will Get Your Teen Talking.
  3. How to get your teen to talk to you.

They may need advice, they might be struggling in math or may simply need to unload some fears about a social situation with someone they trust. If you're there for them when they need you, they'll be able to come to you for all sorts of problems. Don't let your own problems get in the way of building rapport with your kids. If they can't trust you or don't feel like you're really listening, they may seek out comfort from other sources.

Effective communication starts with understanding. Your kids will check out if they think that you're just waiting to lecture, give advice or offer suggestions. Instead of jumping in with your own two cents, let your kids speak , and really listen to what they're saying. Your kids may be growing up, but you can still help them fight their battles.

Develop a pros and cons list, and make sure to encourage your teenagers to find good solutions on their own. By fostering a proactive spirit in your kids, you can help them to think more critically about how to resolve difficult situations. Finally, don't give up when the going gets tough. Your kids need you even if they won't admit it, and being there for them, even silently, will show them how much you care.

How To Connect With A Teen That Doesn’t Want to Talk

As a parent, you have the right to set rules and expect your kids to follow them. However, it's important to create a bond of trust with your teens so that they feel comfortable coming to you for advice. If you truly listen to them, then you can offer support and guidance without coming across as overbearing and unreasonable. Teenagers can be surprisingly easy to talk with if the parents make it clear that they're listening to the teen's point of view.

Keep it short and simple. Shut up. Remember when you were a teen and your parents lectured at you? And you thought, 'Will you please stop; I already got the point! Don't try to talk like your kids or their friends. Seize the moment. A spontaneous conversation in the car or at home late at night -- any time when you're not rushed -- can make for some of the warmest, most rewarding moments, Steinberg says.

Continued For Teenagers Try to understand the situation from your parents' point of view. If your goal is to be allowed to stay out later on Saturday night, for example, try to anticipate what they are concerned about, such as your safety and your whereabouts.

Address their concerns honestly and directly. Try saying something like, "If I am allowed to stay out later, I will tell you in advance where I'm going to be so you know how to reach me," or "I'll call you to let you know what time I'm going to be home, and that way you won't have to worry about it. If you feel deeply about the subject of the conversation -- clothes, friends, politics, sex , drugs, whatever -- stick to your guns, but listen to what your parents have to say. The point is to keep trying new and different ways to give your teen the opportunity to talk to you, rather than demanding answers.

He waits and listens, waits and listens. Read more: The truth about teenage girls. Our team proves its mission every day by providing high-quality content that informs and inspires a Christian life. We want our articles to be accessible to everyone, free of charge, but we need your help.

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4 Parenting Secrets that Will Get Your Teen Talking

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